i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
Randomize
