Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
