I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
Randomize
