We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
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