white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Randomize
