she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize
