i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
Hippo gnu deer
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
I think pants incapable of making pants work
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH