You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
Randomize
