I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
Tumblr User Tells Story About A ‘Demon Gets Adopted By A Grandma’& It Needs To Be A F**king Movie
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
20+ Kids Who Probably Didn’t Mean To Draw Hardcore Porn
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
Randomize
