So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
Ketchup is God's man juice
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize
