Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
Randomize
