we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
True strength comes from lack of pants
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
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