Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
Randomize
