There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Randomize
