so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
Randomize
