remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
Randomize
