I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
