Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
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