wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
Randomize
