you will always have a special place in my vag
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
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