You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
Randomize
