how do flat chested girls get laid?
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
You brought string cheese to the strip club
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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