i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
Randomize
