i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
Randomize
