In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
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My entire life is one complicated drinking game
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
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I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
Dear sober self, your keys are on the table in front of you the only way your typing this is with autocorrect goodnight love you
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