p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
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