Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
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