How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
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