i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
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