If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
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