google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
Randomize
