Plan B is the new Plan A
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
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