I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Randomize
