I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
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