I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
Randomize
