i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
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I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
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Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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