yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
Randomize
