it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
I was not drunk enough for that final.
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
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