Just mADE A PArabola og urine
one might say we're banned from that church
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
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