is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
Randomize
