it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
Randomize
