he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
Randomize
