I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
