I'm so fucking centered right now
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
Be still, my beating vagina.
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize