i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
Randomize