Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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