My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
Randomize
