Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
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