At least make sure they are 18
Why
I want to have your abortion
You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
Randomize
