Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
Randomize
