Having a random hookup so left but love u
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
Randomize
