When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
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