I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
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if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
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I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
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