Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
My vagina is very pro this idea
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
Randomize