I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
Randomize
