if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
Randomize
