We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
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