Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
New definition for "rock bottom": Waking up in a puddle of your own puke, missing your fake tooth. Then having to dig through said puddle of puke for aforementioned fake tooth. Think it's time I quit partying so hard.
Is this your way of breaking up with me as my wingman?
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
