does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
Randomize
