I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
