PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
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