Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
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