Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
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