we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
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